“…I bartered quickly
with god on the bathroom floor,
decided I’d be fine to go—but mom argued
it matters how we die…”

Agonal Respirations: The Space Between Words

by Bethany R. Belkowski

“Whether it is a dispersion, or a resolution into atoms, or annihilation, it is either extinction or
change.”
—Marcus Aurelius, Meditations 7.32

At fifteen, anaphylaxis asked for me,
breathless, in evening hours—a call unanswered
but well-received. From the bedroom
it dragged me down
the narrow hall—a metaphor I pointed out
for its convenience. I bartered quickly
with god on the bathroom floor,
decided I’d be fine to go—but mom argued
it matters how we die. So I crawled
to the mirror—let it change around my face:
nose lost in the swell, eyes squeezed dry,
tongue pregnant with my own
name. It’s hard to unlearn the sounds
we make, but a little
death changes everything.

Bethany Belkowski is a recent graduate of The University of Scranton where she earned degrees in both English and Public Policy. Her poetry has been published by Moonstone Press and in Esprit. She is currently applying to MFA programs to continue nurturing her love for writing.

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