Candice Kelsey 

Charmin Ultra Soft 

I come home from the store 
without the usual brand of toilet paper. 
This brand better be soft, 
 
my husband remarks. 
On the TV, March Madness  
zooms in on cheerleaders’ bare legs. 
 
Next thing I know I am one. 
And so are my two daughters,  
my mother, and my dead mother-in-law too— 
 
We bounce down the aisles 
turning the occasional cartwheel 
between tossing our groceries into the cart 
 
with spirit hands and smiles.  
We wink at the butcher, 
the Girl Scout troop leader, even the baggers. 
 
Our kicks say it all: we know  
men cut us down to skin, legs, ass, midriff, 
and tits. They want our softness 
 
high quality like their paper products. 
At Publix today, the shelves 
were empty— pressure to boycott 
 
Charmin for Procter & Gamble’s 
abysmal deforestation practices,  
harming indigenous peoples and the climate. 
 
I remember thirty-five years earlier,  
sliding south on I-71  
through the Lytle Tunnel with my dad 
 
on the way to a Reds game. 
As the car emerged to meet downtown 
Cincinnati, his mouth widened 
 
at the rounded twin P&G towers 
rounding out the Queen City skyline: 
Look! The Dolly Parton Building.