Hillary Gordon

The Day I Became the Mom and You Became the Daughter

You told me your whole plan
You would wait until I was at work
And then you would drive to the
Cold Springs Bridge
And
Jump!

I imagined it
Your silver car, full of dents
Parked on the side of the road
What would you wear?
Knowing it would be the last
Outfit you’d ever put on
I imagined the vista
The way the mountains look purple behind the bridge
The way the trees grow a dark emerald green
And I imagined how many people
They’ve watched leap from that bridge
Quite a busy place for suicide
Outdone only by its more popular and beautiful older sister
The Golden Gate- A California Favorite

Please don’t do that
I said
I’m doing it
You said

You grabbed the car keys
And I ran after you
Your words slurring as they left your
Drooping mouth
Tripping on your own feet
In your bathrobe full of cigarette burns

I followed you outside
And snatched the keys
Right out of your clammy hands.
You fought back
Twisting and turning and screaming
Let Me Go, Let Me
Go! I let you go

Your ran back into the house
And locked me out
Barefoot and braless
Knocking on my neighbor’s door
Calling 911

You opened the door for the police
And I watched
As they carried you away
Hands behind your back

Your dry feet against the pavement of the driveway
Like children eventually do
You Left Me
Standing in the driveway

Waving goodbye
To the home
I once knew